Enjoy a laugh and ponder….

This is so wonderful. Have a good laugh, and wouldn’t it be wonderful to have this available to play when you are losing your ish, as a friend says, to take the edge off? Unless you sing along, your children probably will take a while to learn the words.:)

Notice how much of the singing rant is made up of questions. Questions (What are you doing? What did I do to deserve this? Again?) are gratifying to us and our sense of being overwhelmed, outraged, or incredulous, and provide a bit of emotional relief. However, they are not helpful to the child, or, in a larger way, to you.

Remember, even The Virgin Mary tried this on Jesus: “When his parents saw him, they were astonished. His mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.”’ The answer annoyed the heck out of them. (Enjoy this snotty blue-eyed Jesus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trePi2pBtdM)

First, your child either cannot answer (” I have no idea why I have my pants on my head.”), the answer is obvious (“What am I doing? You can see that I have covered the cat in shaving cream”), or the question reflects an adult problem, which, like “first world problems” are really a personal issue. This is what happened to Mary and Joseph: he did it because he was a snotty 12 year old. Your child does not know what you have done to deserve this, although your parents and spouse might. There is a factual answer that has to do with human reproduction, which probably would not help you to hear, either.

RIE (Resources for Infant Educators) http://www.janetlansbury.com/2013/04/5-benefits-of-sportscasting-your-childs-struggles/ describes a technique called sportscasting
. Sportscasting is describing what is happening, including, perhaps, how it is affecting you: “I see a cat covered in shaving cream. She is really angry, and so am I! We have a problem! We cannot go to the park until this is solved. How are we going to fix it?” This describes the problem, tells how it is affecting those involved, and includes the child(ren) in coming up with a solution. You also get veto power over solutions, as well as whether to let anyone off the hook for participation: “No, you are holding the cat.” or “I don’t want you in the kitchen until I have mopped this up!”

So, with sportscasting instead of ranting, you get to state the problem, which, sometimes gets the problem solved on its own. You get to say how it is affecting everyone, and you probably get a solution, one in which your child will be a (possibly) constructive participant. The child gets to actually learn something, which is largely the point of parenting, is it not?

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