Another Positive Discipline activity I love is called: Two Lists. It helps you remember the bigger goals behind parenting, separate from “getting him to brush his teeth”, or “getting her to listen.” Imagine your child as an adult. What do you want him/her to be like? What attributes would you love to recognize in them?
Jane Nelson has a list of seven, to help you focus:
Strong perception of personal capablilities: “I am capable.”
Strong perception of significance in primary relationships: “I contribute in meaningful ways and I am genuinely needed.”
Strong perception of personal power or influence over life: “I can influence what happens to me.”
Strong intrapersonal skills; the ability to understand personal emotions and to use that understanding to develop self-discipline and self-control.
Strong interpersonal skills; the ability to work with others and develop friendships through communicating, cooperating, negotiating, sharing, empathizing and listening.
Strong systemic skills; the ability to respond to the limits and consequences of everyday life with responsibility, adaptability, flexibility and integrity.
Strong judgmental skills; the ability to use wisdom and to evaluate situations according to appropriate values.
So, when you are teaching, modeling, correcting, inviting….think about what skills will be taught, directly, or indirectly, by your methods.